Dreams Are Free.

Sometimes, I wish that we could live a little longer in our dreams. Not because reality sucks, but simply because dreams sometimes are flippantly awesome! Most of my dreams are weird though, the laws of Physics don't apply, and neither, it seems, does common sense. At times, things happen in my dreams and in my mind I'm thinking "uh, hello! That's so silly... get that girl off of that murderous Yak!" (literally btw), but I don't say anything... I just watch her carry on getting rolled on by this beast which was surely extinct before the world was created.

This morning, after I'd woken up, I read Haggai (only two chapters long) and then went back to sleep. I don't know if Haggai had anything to do with it, but the dream I had between that time and now (well, ten, maybe fifteen, minutes ago) was odd, odd, odd. Odd is such an odd word don't you think?

In the dream, I went swimming. I was with my niece, who is eleven years old... when it was time to get out, she wouldn't get out, as per a normal day of swimming, so she pretended to be asleep. LOL. I had to carry her out of the pool, plant her feet on the steps and lock her knees so that she could stand. And then it switched to being in a lake, a really dirty one. Jesse was there, dressed in his usual dark but faded zip up hoodie jumper thing, complete with hands in pocket. I think that he was there either with Jono or Russell, or any of that little crew that laugh at weird jokes like moths going into Podiatrists, or Pirates or anything... odd... Hahaha. Anyway, they were taking turns at walking into the lake and blowing bubbles while twisting in a circle. This is weird why? Because Jesse walked in fully clothed, and didn't get wet. (Okay, I just went away for like, half an hour, and watched Paramore/Novel American videos. RANDOM!)

And that was the end of that. Weird right. I know. Next thing I knew I was at school, it was M.H. but it wasn't... do you get those ones too? Where you're in a place that's familiar to you, but it physically doesn't look like it, but it is... You know? Or is that just me? Or when you're with a person, that you know is somebody, but physically they look different? Man those times are buzzy. Buzzzzzzzzz. The new school activity was archery. Jono was first up (what's up with Jono being here? O_o), he went to this massive sheep, and I mean massive. Pastor Jim (what's he doing at my school??) yelled "Go Jono, and don't go quietly!", so Jono took a spear (not even archery!), walked toward the sheep-beast, that was running toward him, gave it an apple and then stabbed through the apple and in to the sheep's heart......

O_O

...when that happened, the big beast I'd mentioned earlier on, came rolling down the hill as if dead. But the weirder thing was that a little girl was on top of it, being rolled on! What, the ass. Three or four more people did this after Jono, and each time, Pastor Jim would say "*insert name here*, go and don't go quietly!", and that person would do just as Jono did... piercing the rhino-like-sheep right in its tough leather skin. And each time, on cue, the Yak thing would roll down the hill! While this was all happening, I sat next to my mother, who alternated between being my mum and Aimee.

I'm not sure when, but there was another scene. I was getting ready for my first day of a second year of being a Prefect. LOL. Maybe I miss it? Anyway, my badges were plenty! And they were ugly, they were made of material and were just in the shape of like, medallions and table runners. But I had my blazer on and I felt great. Walking down that covered way with Cochise. For some reason he wouldn't wear his badges. Which is just, NOT HIM at all. If you knew him, you'd know he wears about as many badges as he can, even if they aren't his dahahaha :L. So yeah, I kept telling him to put his on but he wouldn't.

So, yeah, don't know what that dream was about at all, but I wanted to record it so that I'd remember it in a few months and have a laugh. When I woke up, I didn't open my eyes, I just lay there trying to savour the way that I felt in that dream with its many rooms, for some reason it was quite ideal. I wanted to go back to that strange, twisted world.

But I opened my eyes, remembered I was in a room painted bright blue walls, with a bright green cupboard and monkeys on the curtains, and realized... my life is weird enough as it is.

:)

Our Hearts Can Be Dark, Damp Places.

Having the light off somehow makes writing easier. Gives more effect to the song I'm listening to for sure. (Beautiful Exchange - Hillsong) And thus, the lights go off. (:o Symbolic? I think not... haha... shutup Adeleina with your ingrained overly analytical-ness that you have NCEA to blame for...or thank? ;P)

Who knew that within us hid things that we never knew were there. But, we did. Do you get me? Like, when we experience certain things in life, we learn stuff, and we shed stuff off... but where does that stuff go? I mean, yeah, it's meant to go straight into the fire. (Literally. Nah not really. But you know. Figuratively literally.) But it's like when you're trying to scrape the gathered rubbish up with the dustpan, and even though you initially are determined to rake absolutely everything up, there will ALWAYS be those few dust particles that will just refuse to leave the familiarity they have with the... floor. Back to the point, what happens to those pieces? They get scattered eventually back to where they came from. And it's the same with us, we try to rid ourselves of any trace of the rubbish we didn't know existed, but it can never all go away. And so eventually, it returns back to cling to our soul. To hide within it even. We lock it away, we even nurture it. Out of these places, we can still feel our past hurts. We can still remember joys gone by. We can still feel like we did that day when... and hear the sting of those words when... or hear the piercing silence of that time you... That's what those crumbs do. That's what keeps us, well, you know... liek this.

So anyway, who knew that within us lay the feeling of great joy, and then also of great sorrow. Who knew we were so able to feel happiness and just as much feel sadness. New birth and never ending grievances... We can FEEL accepted... and Rejected all in the same way. But not in the same way? Yeah. We can enjoy life and despise it all the same. Be grateful and spiteful. Hopefulness and doom. We believe in ourselves that we are assured. And next minute, insecure. Out of place... but then embracing our indifference. Redeemed and all the same, to blame. Our relationships irreconcilable but renewed. Confused but quite certain. Like we know for sure, but given evidence that supports our doubt. Hidden but exposed. Alive but invisible. Strangely content and yet not, desiring more. It's a strange rush, it really is.

Funny thing. Who knew that it could/would only take one person to reach unknowingly into the depths of where these emotions hide, and casually stand at the door of it all. Like, a husband returning to his home. With each unthinking knock, the door slowly but surely dissipates. Who knew it only took one person to unleash this dangerous rainbow? Unstoppable yet unstartable. It is true, these things, these feelings have always been in us. But this is a new thing; it only takes one person to let them out? Really? How strange and odd a thought. How unsafe and unfair also! But it's all right too I guess. I guess. But sure, there are people that have also been close to the door, they've walked the corridor not meant for them. Does that mean that they have a key also? They may have keys, but are they just copies? Imitations? Cheap knock-offs, crafted by our own hands, stolen with our own minds? I dunno.

Well, by the end of this post, I didn't expect to have an answer to any of my burning questions. One thing I do know though; people are very, very, very. And that, I think, is all.

Man this post is overly deep. Ah well, it's me. (we all know what THAT means.)
Haha I wonder if anyone will understand this post. Maybe it's only for me to understand, and for YOU to have wasted the last 5 minutes on? Hahaha not funny.)

Adeleina.
by the way this is about love. hmm.