I Was Dreaming About Today, like, Two Years Ago.

I think that the ability that we have within us to dream and imagine, are just ways that we can live another life. If we can just picture ourselves just one year older, or, just that little bit richer, or smarter, or prettier, then and only THEN will we feel we have reached our potential; somewhat fulfilled our purpose. But the truth is, when we get just one year older, richer, or smarter, there'll be more to dream about. We'll have new desires, wants and needs that we want to imagine ourselves in.

Maybe dreaming is just our way of escaping our current reality. After all it IS nice to be think toward a day where we aren't in the unideal or uncomfortable situations that we sometimes find ourselves in. Isn't it? I don't even have to ask anyone that to know the answer. We've all done it; wished we were living just a little bit further into the future. But I don't think it's so bad. I mean, God didn't give us the ability to desire better things for no reason. And by things, I don't mean material things. I mean, you know, thiiiiiings... God doesn't want us to remain babies in the faith forever. He doesn't want us to live and feed off of yesterday's successes for the rest of our tomorrows.

Dream bigger. No harm in that. But don't live so much in the future that you don't appreciate the present, which actually paves the way to the future. And about the future - when you're living in it, it's the present. Funny that. The future is an intangible, unobtainable... thing. It's a measurement of time. So really it's not even 'the future' that we strive for. It's what we'll have there. I guess 'the future' is also a measurement of growth; of self, of character and other 'things'. Hmm

Whatevs man.

On a semi related note...
The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of 60 minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
- Clive Staples Lewis.




A wise man if ever I knew one.

Our Hearts Can Be Dark, Damp Places.

Having the light off somehow makes writing easier. Gives more effect to the song I'm listening to for sure. (Beautiful Exchange - Hillsong) And thus, the lights go off. (:o Symbolic? I think not... haha... shutup Adeleina with your ingrained overly analytical-ness that you have NCEA to blame for...or thank? ;P)

Who knew that within us hid things that we never knew were there. But, we did. Do you get me? Like, when we experience certain things in life, we learn stuff, and we shed stuff off... but where does that stuff go? I mean, yeah, it's meant to go straight into the fire. (Literally. Nah not really. But you know. Figuratively literally.) But it's like when you're trying to scrape the gathered rubbish up with the dustpan, and even though you initially are determined to rake absolutely everything up, there will ALWAYS be those few dust particles that will just refuse to leave the familiarity they have with the... floor. Back to the point, what happens to those pieces? They get scattered eventually back to where they came from. And it's the same with us, we try to rid ourselves of any trace of the rubbish we didn't know existed, but it can never all go away. And so eventually, it returns back to cling to our soul. To hide within it even. We lock it away, we even nurture it. Out of these places, we can still feel our past hurts. We can still remember joys gone by. We can still feel like we did that day when... and hear the sting of those words when... or hear the piercing silence of that time you... That's what those crumbs do. That's what keeps us, well, you know... liek this.

So anyway, who knew that within us lay the feeling of great joy, and then also of great sorrow. Who knew we were so able to feel happiness and just as much feel sadness. New birth and never ending grievances... We can FEEL accepted... and Rejected all in the same way. But not in the same way? Yeah. We can enjoy life and despise it all the same. Be grateful and spiteful. Hopefulness and doom. We believe in ourselves that we are assured. And next minute, insecure. Out of place... but then embracing our indifference. Redeemed and all the same, to blame. Our relationships irreconcilable but renewed. Confused but quite certain. Like we know for sure, but given evidence that supports our doubt. Hidden but exposed. Alive but invisible. Strangely content and yet not, desiring more. It's a strange rush, it really is.

Funny thing. Who knew that it could/would only take one person to reach unknowingly into the depths of where these emotions hide, and casually stand at the door of it all. Like, a husband returning to his home. With each unthinking knock, the door slowly but surely dissipates. Who knew it only took one person to unleash this dangerous rainbow? Unstoppable yet unstartable. It is true, these things, these feelings have always been in us. But this is a new thing; it only takes one person to let them out? Really? How strange and odd a thought. How unsafe and unfair also! But it's all right too I guess. I guess. But sure, there are people that have also been close to the door, they've walked the corridor not meant for them. Does that mean that they have a key also? They may have keys, but are they just copies? Imitations? Cheap knock-offs, crafted by our own hands, stolen with our own minds? I dunno.

Well, by the end of this post, I didn't expect to have an answer to any of my burning questions. One thing I do know though; people are very, very, very. And that, I think, is all.

Man this post is overly deep. Ah well, it's me. (we all know what THAT means.)
Haha I wonder if anyone will understand this post. Maybe it's only for me to understand, and for YOU to have wasted the last 5 minutes on? Hahaha not funny.)

Adeleina.
by the way this is about love. hmm.

Everything You Need To Know. For Now ;)

BAYUM!


(Bayum? What the...?)


Well. I wanted to start this new blog off well. I've been thinking for a while now about how I would start it, what my first post would be about. Because you know, your first post is very special... it introduces prospective followers/readers to your writing style, and your writing purpose. 


So yeah, I've pondered on the topic of my first topic for the last 18 days of January. LOL.
Should've just started. 


Maybe I should tell you about my goals. Not so much goals but directions. 
Well, you know... when you call them goals, a cloak of certain despair/dissatisfaction falls upon them and you aren't (unless you're some amazing super human self-motivated person) too motivated anymore to see them through.


Wow, I'm using capital letters. If you look back at my old blog (Applez For Knowledge), you'll see why that's such a big thing.


Anyway, my new year's directions are as follows:


1)Trust God
2)Love People
3)Smile More
4)Complain Less
5)Make Money
6)Save Money
7)Give Money
8) Enjoy the ride, bumpy though it may be
9) Keep my pacific island savage wild hair untangled.
10) ;)


I actually have that written as number ten in my diary, lol. Maybe I couldn't think of another?
Oh and on 9, I'm seriously considering cutting my hair. Off. Aaaaall off. 
Yes, ALL off. What a weight off of my shoulders that would be. ha.. ha..


Wow, THAT was my first post? What an anticlimax. hahahaha
 Until we meet again... lol jk, until my next post.


Adeleina. Appelonia. Adellz. Bob. 


P.S. I'm currently studying for the S.A.T's, which I've never taken in my life. (I live in New Zealand.)
P.P.S. There is no secret ingredient.
P.P.P.S. I am especially fond of Cambodia...
P.P.P.P.S I like grammar. Correct grammar.
P.P.P.P.P.S I love God. As in Jesus. As in God. Sarayu...